Boulder

Bella Mastrobuono '24

 

"Control"

"Focus"

"It's a mindset, just change it"

"You're overreacting"

"Just chill"


Words I've been told one too many times as my heart is beating out of my chest.


Thump

Thump

Thump


I'm not overreacting, am I?

I could really go for some sleep right now or maybe even a coffee?

I don't care, I just need to escape this hellhole.

I ask my friends, "Is it just me or does every day feel repetitive, like your reliving the same day all the time?"


"No...," they answer.


Thump

THUMP

Thump


Well now they know I'm not okay, they probably think I'm weird.

No.

I'm overreacting.

It's just a mindset.

Just chill.


THUMP

THUMP

THUMP


I feel as if I'm dying as if a boulder just came over and sat on my chest; restricting me from breathing properly.

I'm fine, I'm fine, I repeat as it worsens.

I can hear the waves crashing in my mind as I unconsciously try to calm myself.


"Just stop acting like you have anxiety."

You're right, maybe I am acting.


I'm sorry.