with love, 2007

Joshua Wangia 25'

crazy when together, we’re like may and hem

sometimes i fear i am who i say i am

wouldn’t ever wish this burden on another man 

guess

my destiny

more and nothing less

yes i live for purpose therefore my heart stays in service to a constant fear of failure: will i ever pass the test-

someone save my mind out this distress

my mirror self found no fortune

i pick a pen up and 

mirror paper—inky portraits

i’m pushing to the end

so until then feel all is forfeit

and if it’s profitable i’ll sell it

hear my public torture 

here’s my head on a plate for the unbelievers

hit the gas not the brake

off the bund and leave her

and

as time passes they all pass you by

like the clouds disappear and reveal a blue sky

and my music is nothing but therapeutic

and to lose for me aches so i cannot do it

so

imagine my face and look into my eyes

because hearing my voice will still leave me disguised

is it so weird to just want to be seen?

is it still lying if i don’t know what i mean

only inside these bars is where i feel most free

reuse tired analogies

ivory keys

poems all started with a double e.

hearts inside hearts and the root of a tree

father taught me not to see but perceive

father told me to contain what i feel

my skull can’t contain it but spotify can

and once this is published it’s outta my hands

i cannot be fake 

like an october tan

can’t be too real either

faraway lands

something unknowable till you get close

and the sound reaches you, dead so call me a ghost

like a specter of old these old verses i haunt

and these ivory keys keep me

hungry and gaunt

clocks are so deceiving

the shape suggests time is cyclical 

you’ve missed the meaning

like sick truth is 

time is linear

it has an end

and so the truth is

you will never get this time again

each moment passing

is the same moment lost

discard what you want

you will do what you must

so make yourself want it

more than your eating or breathing

or how good it feels to move on

time doesn’t turn 

time doesn’t heal

time doesn’t make this weak heart turn to steel

time doesn’t act

time simply is

the sooner you realize

the sooner you ——

here’s my head on a plate for the unbelievers

hit the gas not the brake

off the bund and leave her

and

as time passes they all pass you by

like the clouds disappear and reveal a blue sky

and my music is nothing but therapeutic

and to lose for me aches so i cannot do it

so

imagine my face and look into my eyes

because hearing my voice will still leave me disguised

clocks are so deceiving

you’re always fortune feeding

born on the road to heaven

with love, 2007